WHEN IT RAINS IN THE MORNING. CC: MY BOSS

 

Halo, hi, you good? NO? I know, Life is not fair. Let us just wallow about other things. like the rain. 

This beautiful country literally has two seasons. The dry season and the wet/rainy season. (do not be a pervert btw.)  Lakini winter sijui autumn and summer, we do not “do that here.” it is either shining bright and hot or it is all wet, raining and cold.

The past two months have been hot. No one was using a duvet or blanket anymore - not that I know how all of you were sleeping, but given the temperatures, you using a duvet or blanket meant you are a psychopath. You did not want to stay outside for too long because you would burn. And no, I am not exaggerating. We have melanin and all but it is as though the sun shone on us with a vengeance. probably for cutting all those trees.  As in we literally participated in evaporation. Like the sun would hit you and you would see liquids leave your body.

But out of the blue, it starts to rain. (see what I just did there, hah?! No? arrggghh, never mind.) Now this is great news, considering my country’s economy hugely depends on agriculture –I paid attention during SST classes btw. And particularly thrilling for me when it rains in the night. There is something delightful about being all covered, cozy and warm while you hear it rain. (never mind that some Ugandan thieves use this as an opportunity to go about their business- people! You need to chill, do not take your unconventional job way too seriously.) This rain however, is not the one I am talking about.

I am talking about the rain that starts at whatever time it chooses to (usually at 4am) and does not stop all through –the hours we are supposed to report to work in the morning. No one likes this one. (this does not apply to you if you work from home- I even don’t like you.) the rain that makes you wish you were trust fund rich or a princess who didn’t have to get up work like your life depended on it.

This however applies to the rest of us who have to get our not so willing a**es out of bed, shower and leave the house. That chilling cold wave hits you like an African mother’s slap would. Biluma ba dear. It pains! And then some have to be at work On Time, even when they have no car- like your boss cannot see the rain (rolling my eyes-never mind that while interviewing for the job, we give the assurance that we are dedicated and good time keepers)

 I mean, if you have no car, you are definitely using either

1. a bodaboda. I mean they are not many when it rains and you will definitely get soaked in the rain or
2.  a taxi. with this, you have to get yourself to the road, either by walking or getting a bodaboda.(still get wet and cold) 
3. The other option is you could entirely decide to not show up to work and be fired. (because we are not born to suffer) in which case, you will be unemployed but warm and dry.

Kati my country being wariz izzz, we know rain comes with flooding. Not the China floods but Small small rain and all the drainages are blocked. [@KCCA please, plan the city better.] Now if you used a ‘jaj’ bear in mind that you will not only get to work wet but you will also arrive looking like a toddler that played in mud.

The greatest of them all is the fact that regardless of whether you walked in the rain, used a commuter/taxi, drove your car, or a bodaboda, one small wrong step, or turn and you fall in really, deep pothole, ditch - which is a good thing compared to a manhole, or the drainage channel.  Never to come out. 

So it is for this reason Sir/Madam that I am not coming to work on time on rainy mornings. My sense of self preservation bars me from making reckless thoughtless incautious rash decisions.